Meditating on my own thoughts. Focused on my own understanding. Suicidal thoughts trying to cast its demonic inheritance over the righteous side of me! What am I doing? Why do I do the things I do? Every time I try to pick myself back up it seems all I do is fall through; through the seams that you may seem in the streets, back up reverse because I was distracted by the seam in the street. It looks like it could lead me to the place I want to be, Poof, dead because I got hit by a car that I didn’t see or maybe it’s just the suicidal thoughts trying to get to me! Look at me, I can’t look at you because all I see is dead skin that should be peeled! By peeling it though I reveal the truth instead of living behind my blissful sorrow. Oh yea… another person will come around, to show their face and attempt to settle down, but before you get comfortable my instinct will be to let you drown! Now I can add you to the list of those who never stayed around. Stop shoving the mirror into my face I see my reflection now! Wait… could it really be my fault, the reason why he or she never took the time to see deeper than the skin that appears now? Who is this that claims he loves me now? I know by the thoughts displayed you wouldn’t believe that I am a Christian now! Although, who said that Christians don’t conflict with the evils of their flesh and the purity of their spirit? Anyway, this man claims that he is a Christian, but my thoughts are to leave him to drown now! I can’t because somehow, I have lead him to the spirit and he has now helped me find mine somehow! He thinks he understands me, no one understands a woman like me, one who moves without a sound. I have known him long and my flesh has grown to hate the woman he has repaired! God sent him to help me turn from my life of demonic things into the Queen that he has always seen! He may be my King, but I am grateful for the King of all Kings for shaping me into the woman he has always wanted me to be! Don’t let these earthly things kill you before you become a Queen or a King!