I wake up and ask myself, is there really anyone out there praying for me? Well, am I even praying for myself? I guess that should answer my question! Tormented with the thoughts in my head, repeated images of self-infliction. Infliction that could only lead me to the abyss in which my flesh is easily persuaded to see. I weep in fear from my spirit, but find great gratitude within my flesh! The sinful nature within me! This “impurity” within me has me casted out of the community that is supposed to support the healing that our father is running through me, but all they can see is the imperfect version of me that only their naked eye can see. Many will read this and think that there is no such thing as perfect, but see my definition of perfect is far different from yours. If you look hard and seek the real definition of perfection lies right beneath the surface and this is in reference to me. The surface being what you and I both see, perfection is the spirit inside that God has created in me! There may be a lot of darkness as time goes on, but there is always a light within me! I plummet… I fall once again. When I fall I am by myself, in my “comfort zone” once again. Truly, I have fallen to deception again, the enemy is at his tricks again! When alone I stumble, I plummet, down to a place where I can hardly stomach! During these times, it’s hard not to turn myself into matter that will feed a maggot! I sit and think about who is praying for me, and even though this time I am praying for myself and I am seeking for God’s help, the people who claim they will pray have not prayed! Therefore, I have a reason to feel abandoned and alone, but again I am wrong! Even if they didn’t pray there is one prayer alone that has been lifting me up and I have ignored for so long! God’s prayer for me to come back to Him has brought me this far in my life, that is the one prayer I need to acknowledge more! That alone is a false accusation because someone has been praying for me all along!

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